Privilege Without the Shame
Privilege is a hot-button word that has moved to the forefront of the latest social justice revolution in the U.S.. It is important to recognize that every individual enjoys their own set of privileges along with their own set of challenges. I am often hesitant to throw around the “P” word because I am acutely aware of the countless ways that it can be misused. It can be manipulated to shame folks or strip away merit/achievements from others. However, on the flip side, understanding one's privileges can help develop a healthy sense of gratitude, while also promoting empathy and understanding for others who are less fortunate. In an effort to better understand my own privileges, the following are three examples from the New Privilege Checklist (Black & Stone, and McIntosh, 2021) with which I identify.
The first is that because I am male, a decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might plan to have a family soon. While being male is not in and of itself a privilege, an anecdotal excerpt may help explain my position. In my past life in advertising, I can recall the moment I became aware of this privilege when an ex-coworker decided to remove her wedding ring during the interview process at our company. When she left for maternity-leave five months after being hired, my boss became angry, complaining that she was deceived into thinking that the employee was single upon being hired. Witnessing this, my privilege as a man felt undeniable. This coworker had understood a dynamic that, until then, I had been completely blind to.
The second privilege I recognize is that I have never worried about being rejected by others because of my mental health. Working closely with mental patients over the past year and a half has increased my awareness of the true stigma that is attached to mental illness in America. I understand that disclosing such an illness could cause others to treat one differently. Because of this, fear of rejection could negatively affect someone’s self esteem, social life, love life, and employment status, to name a few examples. However, without experiencing these worries firsthand, the magnitude and nuance of their effects are difficult for me to grasp fully.
The third privilege I identify with is that I do not have to rely on public transportation; I can afford my own vehicle. Living in New York has the benefit of some of the best public transportation options in the country. For example, my current place of employment was accessible by way of subway and bus from my last apartment. However, having access to a car cut down my commute time from an hour and a half to just 30 minutes each way. In the event that I work a double shift (16 long hours) , having a car allows me enough time to sleep five-six hours before returning for my next shift. Those who rely on public transportation are afforded a maximum of four. Being able to afford a car is a class privilege that has serious advantages.
Being aware of my privilege is of added importance in a counseling setting as it will have a direct impact on my ability to relate to clients. Since privileges are interwoven with culture, understanding them is vital to the counselor-client relationship. There is plenty of literature explaining that when clients see their counselors as high in cultural humility, they are able to more easily form a bonded relationship and extract the maximum benefits out of their counseling sessions. Furthermore, failing to have cultural humility could negatively affect our sessions in two additional ways. The first is that I could fail to empathize with their culture or privileges having never experienced them myself. For example, if a female client is denied a job because of her probability of becoming pregnant, having never experienced this personally, I might miss an opportunity to properly empathize with my client. I could then do further harm to our relationship by questioning whether her outrage is justified. The second is that it could lead me to misunderstand the motivations of my clients. For example, if a client's goal was to obtain employment and this issue became an obstacle, failing to understand it could lead me to question whether my client was dedicated to her goal or whether there is something internal (emotional or cognitive) holding her back.
For these reasons, it is important for therapists (and everyone really) to understand the realistic ways in which each of us hold privilege. Perhaps equally important, is to recognize that we all hold privileges and they are nothing to be ashamed of. There is great utility in recognizing them, however, as doing so can contribute greatly to an individual's capacity for empathy. Without casting judgment or rolling your eyes, try asking yourself - what privileges do you recognize in your own life?
