Divorce: Courts and the Aftermath
Within the past 70 years, the marriage rate in America has slowly and steadily plummeted. At the same time, those who choose to marry are much more likely to divorce. Today, America has one of the highest divorce rates in the world, directly impacting the country’s societal structure, politics, and the psychology of countless children who grow up in single-parent households. Today, it is more common for children to grow up with divorced or never-married parents than married ones. However, this is not all bad, as one of the benefits of the normalization of divorce is the empowerment of people to leave abusive relationships and chase their personal happiness and self-actualization. Sadly, however, the most frequently cited reasons for divorce in America are lack of commitment, followed by infidelity, suggesting that people are taking their marriages less seriously. Simply put - they are quicker to dissolve their unions than in prior years. One glaring issue is that children are often caught in the crosshairs when their parents divorce. In 2022, 18% of men and 38% of women who got divorced were still caring for children under 18. This can complicate the process of divorce, as property division, child custody, alimony, and child support must all be legally determined (Bieber, 2023).
During a messy legal divorce, sociopolitical aspects often play a role as key determinants in the outcome of who gets custody and who must support the other financially. Socioeconomic status, gender, education, and health are all examples of factors that could play a role in divorce proceedings. When viewed through the lens of such factors, divorce statistics vary greatly. For example, divorces are far more common for lower-income, less-educated couples, and nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women (Bieber, 2023). These statistical inequalities suggest there may be aspects of oppression influencing divorce rates in America.
These statistics are reflected commonly in most media content. Divorce is accurately portrayed as commonplace in our society. I’m sure many readers likely have some sort of insight, personal or otherwise, into how ugly that process can be, both for the couples involved and for their children. What most don’t see, however, is how much of a role the legal system can play. Frequently it can cause unnecessary deterioration of what might have otherwise been a civil separation process. Unfortunately, once attorneys get involved, the focus quickly shifts away from determining what a healthy separation might look like and devolves into a zero-sum game with harmful character assassination. Digging a bit deeper, there are also staggering inequities in the legal system for fathers who want to maintain a relationship with their children post-divorce. The court system reflects the popular notion that most fathers are unworthy parents. Mothers, in turn, are presumed to be more suited for the responsibilities of child-rearing, sometimes relegating their former partners to contribute to their child’s development by financial means alone. This has led to a threefold increase in children growing up without their father since the 1960s. Couples who undergo this process, are often left traumatized and increasingly hostile toward one another. Men in particular are often dismissed from the lives of their children and relegated to visitation rights, whereby they cannot legally visit their children outside of allotted periods. The emotional damage for all parties, especially men, can be catastrophic.
